Memory Box

So, I have a memory box. I've had one since I was little - my mother couldn't bring herself to throw out certain things, so it just got shoved into a box. As I got older, I put stuff that I didn't want to throw away into the box too.

I don't usually look in it very often - after all, its all stuff that I've seen before - but when I do, there's usually at least one thing in there that makes me smile.

This weekend, I was wondering if I still had an item that I had put in that box a long time ago. I remember putting it in there, but after a few moves to different apartments, you can't always guarantee that things are where they should be. Anyway, I put off looking through the box because...well, sometimes there aren't always good memories in those things.

I bit the bullet today. I decided to go wading through those memories to find what I was looking for. It was almost literally like trudging through ankle-deep water: not impossible to do, but a challenge all the same. The first box was fine - baby pictures and old grade school material, nothing too scary there.

The next box...well, that was the problem box. This one retained the more recent items: apartment hunting notes, lease agreements, bills...and everything from my last failed relationship. It was like things began moving in slow motion; instead of picking up an item and quickly putting it back, I held each thing in my hand for what was probably only a few seconds, but it felt much longer.

Memories of a time long ago past, filled with both happiness and sadness at the same time. It really was a challenge. I didn't subject myself to it for too long - I found what I was looking for and quickly put the box away.

The past can be funny like that...you think that you've compartmentalized it all and put it away so that it can't bother you anymore. Then, one day, you need something from that box. Sifting through those "things" isn't always as easy as it seems. But you'll do it, slowly turning each thing over in hands and in your head, remembering events and people just like it was yesterday.

And with each new emotion that it brings, you'll be tested - do you push those emotions away, back into the box? Or do you bring them out again at a later time, embracing what they bring to you and illustrating life's changes?